Sad Day

Today was a bitter sweet day. It's not my last day, but it was my going away lunch. Because I work with far more people on a daily basis than just the people who work for my agency in my office.....today will be the last time I see most of those people outside my office. At least for a while.

It really hit me today that I'm really leaving this job. I am not going on vacation or maternity leave. I'm leaving. I wont' be back. It's scary.

I know it's for the best. I keep repeating that to myself. ha! But I am very very sad to leave my close friends. I wish I could put into words what this group of people has meant to me over the past 4 years. I cry every time I think about not seeing them and them being a part of my every day life.

I'm feeling a lot of things right now. Mostly I'm afraid of the unknown. I have done this for about 4 years. I'm good at it, I know what I'm doing, people respect me, and my reputation. I can do my job in my sleep. It's not always easy, but I do know what I'm doing.

Starting a new job is scary, working with new people, starting from scratch. It's all daunting and there are a million unknowns. But I know that it is time, I know that God has given me this specific job for a reason and I am really excited about it.

It's just all very bitter sweet for me. Tomorrow is my last full day, half of which will be spent in court and then I will work Thursday morning. I'm taking 1/2 the day off for a personal matter, and then Friday morning I'll make the last drive to headquaters to turn in my car and all my equipment. So basically, I'm mostly done.

I know these friends are life long friends and a new job won't change that--I love you guys. So. So. So. So. Much. This is a million times harder than I thought it would be.

Keep up the good work. I am proud of the work you do. I am proud to have been a small part of it for a small time. I love you all.