My job is hard for many reasons, but mostly because it is a constant reminder of the evil in our world. It still amazes me what people are capable of doing to another person. I have a thick skin, and usually I am able to leave work at work and I tend to be able to handle my work well when it doesn't spill over into my personal life. This week it spilled over a lot. Every where I went and saw someone I knew they were asking about the bad case that was on the news. When you are close to these cases and you have seen things and know intimate details, it makes it hard when someone asks you "how are those kids." I must have been asked this 5-10 times over the last weekend and then on Sunday my pastor used child abuse as an illustration in his message. It was like there was no line between work and my personal life. So that was how my week started...not good to begin with. Then the cases came rolling in and then we are dealing with some inner departmental issues and that is a huge stressor.
Anyway, I became so frustrated at one point, I was searching the classifieds. I came to my senses the next day though. I love what I do. I am PROUD of what I do. When I was in college and chose Social Work as a major, this is what I had in mind. Some days I think I might want to do something else, but when it comes right down to it, I can't imagine myself doing anything else. It is a good feeling to know I am doing what I always wanted to do, but it doesn't make the work itself any easier. Unfortunately.
So the moral of this story is: work sucks. I wonder if Jordan will grow up hating me because I work a lot. At least when I do work late or am on call she is with her daddy, not at a babysitters, that's a plus! By the way I am on call this weekend and next week. Which also sucks, because I can't make any plans. Just have to sit by the phone and hope that it doesn't ring. So far, it hasn't. Knock on wood. (She has grown so much!) Ok, that's all for now. Sorry to be so depressing and boring. I think I might go to bed. G'night.