Pray for Baby B

Please visit the button on the left and pray for a friend of mine's baby boy. He's having some difficulties. I went to high school with his momma and they have two other little ones, so they are undoubtedly stretched at this time. Please pray for Baby B and his family!

A Hero

Craig passed away this morning just before 10am. On a day when we are celebrating the birth of Christ, Jesus took a great man home to be with Him.

I know death is never convienent for the ones left behind, but I imagine that on Christmas Day it would be especially hard to lose someone you love so much.

Fortunately Craig went home peacefully, in his sleep without pain. This is a huge blessing, because in the past few days, he had been in a lot of pain and had not been doing well at all.

Please continue to pray for Karis, and Craigs family. I know they would appreciate it so much. Thank you again for all your support.

The Chastain Family

Hello Blog Land Friends!

If you are a reader of my blog and I know it (ie, when I went private you sent me an e mail asking for an invite), you should have gotten an e mail from me a couple of days ago about a dear friend and co-worker of mine.

I never send things out in mass like that, it's just not something that I do. But I did in this case because this is important. In case you didn't read the 2nd email or just thought I was forwarding something on to you, let me tell you about the Chastain Family

Karis is my dear dear friend. I have known her for 3 years now. We work together. But she's more than just someone I work with, she's my friend. A good friend. She is by far the sweetest, most kind person one will ever meet. Hands down. She has such a giving and sweet sweet spirit. She has helped me and my family on more than one occasion in big ways. She has a laugh that is infectious and can be heard and recognized from several rooms away. She is just a happy person.
Karis was married when she was younger, she had two boys, now 19 and 14. About 6 or 7years ago, she divorced due to a not great situation with her first husband. She was then a single mom for several years. She dated on and off and at the begining of 2007 met her now husband, Craig. The connection was immediate and they were married just a few short months later. I planned and photographed their small intimate ceremony.

Craig is a police officer at a local police department. He has been with the PD for 11 years. He was named Officer of the Year last year at his PD. The year prior he was nominated for the Arkansas Attorney Generals Award of Officer of the Year. He is good at what he does and he cares about this community and the people in it. Craig is also, or was, a runner. He ran almost everyday, he was in great shape. He trained for marathons and was overall a healthy guy.

Karis does what I do and has done it for five long years. Because of her sweet sweet spirit, she is great at interviewing the children we come across. They love her, she puts them at such ease. Again, she is seriously one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. She can't say a harsh word to anyone, she is incapable of it. Regardless of how someone may make her feel, she will be kind to them, and it's genuine, she doesn't fake it.

In mid-September Craig was to run in the Tulsa Marathon. He had been training and was going to be able to run it with no problems. Halfway through he had to quit. He was in pain and felt too weak to continue. He went to the doctor and they found a hernia. He was scheduled to have surgery at the end of October. Time went by and his pain became increasingly worse, he was retaining fluid and was very uncomfortable. He went to the doctor a few times and had fluid drained and they just kept telling him it was the hernia and that the surgery would fix it. (the top photo was taken the day before he ran the marathon)

The day before he was to have the hernia surgery, he went for a pre-op CT scan and they found a large mass in his abdomen. The mass was said to be malignant cancer. In the next weeks they didn't get many answers. The doctors here wouldn't tell them what kind of cancer, how far along it was or anything else. They wanted to cut him open and do exploratory surgery. Obviously Karis and Craig didn't think this was the best idea, so they consulted the Cancer Treatment Center in Chicago. They went there for an evaluation in mid November. They were told it was a rare form of Sarcoma. It wasn't until last week that they were told this news. This week they learned the cancer is at a Stage 4 and there isn't much that can be done. They have been offered hospice care when they return home.

Last week my co-workers and I decided we needed to do something bigger than taking them meals, as we had been doing. We began to brainstorm and we came up with the Chili Supper and Raffle as a fundraiser. Aside from the medical expenses, that are expensive (his pain meds are over 1,000.00), they incur huge travel expenses everytime they have to travel to and from Chicago for care.

I've set up a "Chip In" page for people who want to give online. You can do so using a paypal account. There is a link on the top left of my blog. So far we've raised over 100.00! Thank you if you've already given! While I realize that it is Christmas time and that things are tight for most already right now, any amount you feel led to give will be appreciated and will go STRAIGHT to this family. We're not using any of the donated funds to pay for the dinner, all of that is being covered by myself and my co-workers, so that each dollar donated can go to this family

Feel free to e mail me if you have questions--If you are in the area and can come to the dinner, please do. We'll have several nice items to raffle off--raffle tickets will be sold at the dinner. Some things we will have are: photo shoot, pottery, gift cards, razorback itmes, jewelry and more

Thank you for your support!! Please pass this along to anyone you feel might be able to help. I have seen people in this blog world rally together to help those they have never met. I hope that some of you will do that here.

If you are a person that prays, please do pray for this situation.

Thanks again!

UPDATE 12/15/08: Craig and Karis returned from Chicago on Sunday. Craig is not strong enough to receive any type of treatment at this time. The doctors have given him about a 20% chance of getting strong enough to endure treatment. So right now he is at home and they have home health care to help Karis. Right now, it is just a matter of making him comfortable and managing his pain. Karis doesn't seem to think it's going to be long now. The doctors have said he has around 2-4 months, but Karis doesn't know if he'll make it that long. I spoke with Karis on Friday night and we just cried on the phone together. She is taking it as well as she can, but she is understandably shattered in a million pieces. Anyway, please continue to pray for them. Thank you.

UPDATE: 12/27/2008: Criag passed away on Christmas morning just before 10am. Please continue to pray for this family. Thank you again for your support!

Prayer Requests

My heart is heavy tonight. I've gotten a couple pieces of bad news in the past few days. I would ask that you all add the following to your P-lists if you have them.

1--A dear dear dear friend and co-worker of mine found out on Wednesday that her new husband of a year and half has cancer. A pretty bad cancer. He is starting chemo on this coming Wednesday. They are still waiting to hear if it is treatable. Should find out tomorrow. They are older than me, but still young and she has 2 sons from a previous marriage. This has been very hard on their family, understandably so. He is a very healthy man, a police officer and a marathon runner. It really came out of nowhere. They found it during a Pre-Op CT Scan for a hernia he has. Ironically, it probably would have gone unnoticed for long to come if not for the hernia. Please pray--that 1--the cancer is lymphoma, I understand this is the treatable kind. 2--for my friend and her family for strength and courage during this time.

2---I got news this morning that an old friend of mine, a minister, and the man who led my mission trip to the Phillippines a few years ago was in a car wreck with his wife and 3 month old son. He and his son are okay, but his wife went to be with the Lord this morning. Please pray for this family in this time of incredible loss.

We all hear bad things all the time, but for some reason these two things have really hit me pretty hard--especially my close friend at work. I've cried a lot of tears for my friend, and I can't imagine how hard it will be for Scott to raise his son who never knew his mother.

I know I haven't posted much lately. I've just been soaking up the newborn-ness of Hayden. I'll be back to it soon. Hope everyone has a great week this week!

I saw Satan today

Has anyone heard that country song by George Straight "I saw God today?" I heard it for the first time a few weeks ago. I was in my car driving home from what I can only assume was a bad day at work. Becuase as I heard it I changed the lyrics in my head to "I saw Satan today."

How morbid is that. As I thought about the song and the lyrics, I thought about my days at work and how for the last three years I have seen Satan on a daily basis and how it has begun to wear on my emotions and my spirit.

The song lyrics say this:

"I've been to church. I've read the book. I know He's here, but I don't look near as often as I should. Yeah, I know I should his fingerprints are everywhere I'd just slow down to stop and stare opened my eyes and man I swear I saw God today. "

It all applies. I have been to church, I've read the bible, I know that Satan is real and exists, but I've never seen him be so real and evident in peoples lives than I have the last few years.

I hesitate to write this post, because I realize what a downer it is. The truth is, I've been trying to work up the nerve to write it for a while now. I have posted before about how I'd like to have a career change. In reality, I NEED a career change.

If you don't know what I do, let me me break it down for you. I have talked about it vaguely on here before, but I'm going to lay it all out, so get ready.

I am a civilian investigator and I investigate severe allegations of child abuse. Mostly, child sexual abuse. About 98% of the cases we investigate are allegations of sexual abuse on children.

For most people, the mere thought of child sexual abuse makes them shudder. They can't fathom what it would be like to do what I do. I hate meeting new people and having to tell them what I do. It can bring a party down in seconds.

To be more clear...I am assigned approximately 15 new cases every month. In a 20 work day month, that's almost a new report per day. Each report has a victim. I am responsible for making contact with that victim within 24 hours to ensure their safety. If the offender is in the home with the child or is someone who has immediate access to the child, the call is considered priority and only moments pass before making contact.

On every case I have, I conduct a forensic interivew with the victim child. I am specially trained to talk to children who are victims of child abuse. There are certain things I can say and certain things I can't say. I am responsible for conducting an interview that the prosecuting attorney will watch and use to help base whether or not criminal charges will be filed on. It can be a daunting task.

As if that's not enough. The interview itself can be very emotional. I mean, I'm sitting in a room with a child, anywhere from age 3 to 17 who is describing very intimate details of sexual abuse that has been done to them. I can't cry in an interview, I can't reach out and console a child in an interview if they begin to cry. I can't share information about myself in an interview.

I can reassure a child that they have done nothing wrong and are not in trouble. That's about as far as the touchy feely stuff goes in the interview. I can't leave anything open to a defense attorney to use in a criminal trial.

I have had some very sad cases. During one interivew, I actually had to excuse myself because I could feel the tears coming on (and I wasn't pregnant). Others I have walked out of and began to cry immediately.

Today was a day that I had to do a really sad interview. I saw Satan today. I have seen Satan on many occasions. I have seen in in the eyes of Pastors, Sunday School Teachers, Youth Ministers, Teachers, Coaches, Day Care Workers, and many other professions where you do not want to see people using their authority to abuse children.

This job has jaded me in so many ways. I don't trust anyone. I hate meeting new people, because I think things like "they could be abusing their children." BJ and I have been without a church home for several months now. We have tried a couple churches, but we have not visited churches very aggressively to find a new church home.

I have a difficult time making myself go meet a group of new people, having to decide whether or not to leave Jordan in a nursery with people I don't know anything about and just have a "trust" of them because they are "church people" or keep her with me in the service, which is no longer really an option at her age. So I end up just not going.

It is so nerve racking. Jordan will never be allowed to sleep over at a friends house. Period. I just will never be able to have that trust in someone else.

I realize that many of you are reading this and thinking that I'm being a little paranoid or fanatical about this. I can understand how you would think that. People who don't work in this field cannot begin to understand it. I would put in print some things that might help you, but it would be vulgar and offensive to many.

But imagine, the worst possible thing that could be done to a child, by a parent, by a teacher, a coach, a youth minister, a friends dad, and on VERY rare occasions, a stranger....and I do mean the worst possible thing....when you are there, THAT is what I deal with on a daily basis.

Not only do I get to hear the child tell me all about it, but I get to see these bastards get off with NO criminal charge, or a FAR less sentence than they deserve. Because these cases are hard to try. It's usually the word of a child against the word of an adult. I have seen some very deserving individuals be sentenced to the rest of their lives in prison, and those are good days. But it comes with knowing that their victim may never be a fully functioning adult as a result of the brutal abuse that was done to them.

Don't misunderstand my Faith in God. I still believe in God and believe He can do All things. While I have many unanswered questions, I do know that God is still a big God and that he has an ultimate plan. I have a relationship with God and long to have fellowship with other believers, but find it difficult to trust.

I want to say to you parents out there...please never ever question your gut. If you have a bad feeling about someone, trust that and don't leave your child with them. Get far away from them. I have found that our guts are normally right in regards to this. Also, PLEASE educate your children about touches that are okay and touches that are not okay. Do this as absolutely early as they are developmentally able to begin to understand. Usually this is around age 3. Also, I advise that you teach your children the right names for their body parts. Slang words can confuse someone that they may dislcose abuse to. If they are using the right words, there will be no confusion. They should know that NO ONE is allowed to touch them in those places.

Okay, if you're still reading this, Thank you. If not, I understand. It's not a fun post.

I covet your prayers in my daily life but also in an opportunity to change jobs if that is God's desire for me.

Prayer Request...

I wrote about my friend, Claudia a few days ago. I got a message from her today telling me she had been admitted into the hospital for a blood clot in her brain. This is very scary news. The doctors are going to try to get it to disolve with medication, but if they can't, then she will have to go into a very risky surgery. Please pray for Claudia, the doctors, her family, and everyone involved. Thank you!